An Eclectic Conglomeration of Thoughts and Observations (and an update)

  Just so you know, this post might leave you saying, "Wow, she was all over the place. Maybe they need to monitor her meds better."  No, really, I'm fine...or as fine as they tell me I am.  Some things in the post might seem a little odd to discuss.
   First...I continue to enjoy my time in God's presence.  The scripture verses sent by friends, on daily postings, and in my devotional continue to be knit together in the perfect manner to convey just what I need for encouragement and support.  In addition to the theme of JOY, I've been learning more about the many ways God reveals Himself in every situation.  The following was on a card I received today (again...perfect timing):

Difficult things can cause us to ask, "Why did this happen?"  But if we're trusting in Christ we never need to ask, "How could He let this happen?"  God may never reveal all His reasons to us, but He has revealed His character to us.  His character assures us that He never makes mistakes, is never uncaring, and that He never separates Himself from our need. ~Roy Lessin

  I've posted the song "Even if..." by Kutlass before.  Just found this video where the band comments on the song.  In less than two minutes you can see God's character. It blew me away when he said, "God cares far more about the end of the story than the middle of the story."

   Moving on...cravings.  It's really weird.  With my bout with breast cancer, I stopped drinking sodas and craved large amounts of cottage cheese. (Okay...I see that perplexed look on your face!)  So this time, with leukemia, I've been craving large quantities of milk...usually 1%.  After have something like 8 cartons yesterday, I got a bit concerned and did a little online research to make sure I wouldn't over do it. (The doc's not concerned.)  I curtailed it to to 5 today.  I'm thinking it has something to do with the bone/calcium connection.  I've also found that when I get ready to take my oral chemo, eat my graham cracker pudding (my own recipe of 1 serving of graham crackers with enough milk poured over to make it gooey), it seems to work better.

   Since I have to brush my teeth so much and keep bacteria out of my mouth, I have noticed my teeth are nice and white.  I can contribute that to the lovely saline/baking soda rinse I use every time I am near the sink.  Hey, having white teeth is a perk!

   Next...I've discovered that my favorite pizza is probably not a good choice for me at this time.  As a science teacher, I will just say one word...flagellants. I would go into more detail here, because, as an aunt of two nephews (who assure me that some things they think are funny are "boy things") I think my coolness factor may go up, but in the interest of grossness, I'll stop. [Ooo...just read that last sentence...hope you understand what I'm saying!]

Update:

(Just kidding...this isn't the mask!)

   Finished Chemo bag #7 at around 2am this morning.  Was told that the I would be observed closely the first 48 hours after.  Still getting fluids...hence the frequent trips to the bathroom.  Donned a "beautiful" yellow face mask so I could stroll through the hallway. The doc continues to use the word "amazing" when he examines me. Doc told me I would be sticking around a bit more and hoped I stayed as bored as I am now. Enjoyed cards, emails, texts, calls and visits.  Sometimes I think, "I'm such a slacker!" or "Shouldn't I be more sick?"...but then I'm reminded that it's not about me.  I need to stop thinking that way and continue to praise and enjoy the blessings of friendship and health provided by my Ever Faithful God!

(VERY) Early Morning Chat

   For the past several nights I've been cared for by the same Nurse's Assistant.  She comes in and out to check on me and take vitals.  When I have visitors, I introduce her to them and tell her who they are.  Sometimes, during the night, when I'm awake...we chat a bit.

   I know I've said it before, but I'm going to reiterate...I am being well cared for.  The staff here is wonderful.  I've been blessed by so many and have opportunities to share my life with them.  This post is just one example.
   This morning, before the sun and chickens were up, she was getting my vitals.  She made the comment that I had several nice visitors and there were so many different ones.  As she was getting ready to leave, we chatted a bit more then she said, "How do you have time to have so many friends?  You're in a classroom all day." Yep, heard the door open, so I shared with her something that took me several years to learn.
   When I first started teaching, I didn't realize how important it was to take time for myself and actually have a life.  I would stay at school until nine or ten at night, go home, fall into bed, and start all over again.  Sometimes I would get home to a message from my student teaching mentor (who taught at the same school) that said, "Hey, just checking on you.  You'd better be at home and not at school." Yes, this was close to 30 years ago!  I had to realize that my job was not my life.  I knew it was a calling, but if I didn't take care of me better, I couldn't do my job.  I shared that I had to put limits on the time I spent working.
   (Okay, some of my friends might says, "She puts limits?" Yes...I'm much better. Still growing in that area and go through different growth spurts. I've learned to use a really cool word that needs no explanation when someone asks.  It's "no.")
    I shared how it became important to me to be involved with things apart from my job...like volunteering in my church and in missions. I shared how sometimes I just need to have a little "me" time and get away for a while just to do nothing. We talked about the importance of family.  I told her how much I enjoyed getting to know, not only the people I work with, but the ones I come in contact with wherever I go.  She said she liked visiting with the people she helped.  I encouraged her by telling her what a great ministry she has here.  Her kind words, caring attitude, and sweet smile have blessed me on many occasions.  Will be watching for more opportunities to share!
   So in summary...I think that what I've learned over the past several years is

• I can't "make" time, I have to "take" time for what's important.
• God made everything perfect...including the whole day and night thing.  I'm the one that over does it and needs to pay better attention how He wants me to use His gift of life.

Love this Calvin & Hobbs!

 

Things I'm Learning (and an update)

  Some of the nuggets from my devotional Jesus is Calling by Sarah Young (also available in an app):

You hear Me in the depths of your being.  The best response is a heart over-flowing with gratitude.  I am training you to cultivate a thankful mind-set.

   I can definitely say I've had a heart overflowing with gratitude and have been in a thankful mind-set.  God has shown Himself over and over in so many ways through people (some I don't even know), circumstances, and quiet moments.  As I was meditating on this (No...not chanting and clearing my mind...thinking on the devotion and scriptures) I thought about some of the things people had been saying.
   Most who know me know it's a bit hard for me to take compliments.  I never know how to respond.  While praying about this, I really think God was helping me to see what I need to do.  I need to take the compliments for what they are...encouraging words of love, concern, encouragement, and hope that bathe me in His presence.
   So anyway...here's what I believe I got from all of this:

• When people say I'm inspirational, point them to the One Who is True Inspiration...the Creator, Sustainer, and Giver of Life.
• When people say I'm strong, remember I'm week and point them to the One Who is Strong and Mighty in Power.
• When people say my faith will see me through, remember it's the One in Whom my faith is put...the Ever Faithful One..that will see me through.

     Ray Stedman, in Adventuring Through the Bible, p.571, says it so well:

When we freely admit that without Christ we can do nothing- and we live our lives accordingly, totally dependent on Him- then we discover that "we can do all things through Him that strengthens us. (Philippians 4:13)and what an amazing discovery that is.

 Now after writing all this, I could probably best summarize it like this:

It's not about me; It's about Him.

Update:

       Wow...another good day! Nice visit from my sis this morning...scored a Hello Kitty toothbrush! Had some "no screen" rest time...I'm trying! Dayspring friend picked up supplies so she and her Bible study could help me complete a project. Bible study with pizza (got permission from doc) and great visit with special friends. On last chemo bag...told I still have to hang around for a while. Continue to learn so much about God's provision and awesome power! Very thankful and blessed to have the time and feel up to visiting with everyone...family, friends, hospital staff, etc.  I am well care for and well loved. I was a little sad today when I realized I would be missing my 29th School Kick-Off. Have I been teaching that long? This aging thing is not working well for me right now.  No worries...my school family is awesome!  Looking forward to returning; concentrating on doing what I'm suppose to be doing now.  Hanging out and watching God work!