Still Trying to Stick to a Schedule...(and an update)

   I've been trying to keep up some type of "normal" schedule since I've been in the hospital. I do devotions first, before I get out of bed, then get up and stick to my morning routine (minus the make-up and shower) as closely as possible.  Most days I wash up; I love the days I can "unhook"  for 15 minutes to take a bird bath and change clothes. Today's schedule was disrupted by the headache from the dark side. It started as an 8 and moved to a 57. Couldn't think and couldn't read.  After a bit stronger med I was able to rest and the headache went away.  I was able to do my devotion:

I am the God of all time and all that is. Seek Me not only in morning quietness but consistently throughout the day. Do not let unexpected problems distract you from My Presence. Instead, talk with Me about everything, and watch confidently to see what I will do. Adversity need not interrupt your communion with me. When things go "wrong," you tend to react as if you're being punished. Instead of this negative response, try to view difficulties as blessings in disguise. Make Me your Refuge by pouring out your heart to Me, trusting in Me at all times. (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, p.238)

One of the scriptures I looked up was Psalm 62:8 (NIV): "Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for god is our refuge. Seriously thought about not doing my devotional this morning...I thought the headache was a good reason to take it easy.  So glad I reconsidered.  Continue to be amazed at our amazing God who knows what we need when we need it and orchestrates the delivery of the blessings.
    So today I got to change clothes and wash up.  I washed my hair....for the last time for a while. My first clue was when I combed it out and it came out in the comb...in chunks.  (Last time, I was able to have lunch with friends, cut my hair short, and have florescent pink highlights put in it before it really started coming out.) I made a call to a sweet friend whose daughter came this afternoon and shaved what was left. Yes, we took pics for the scrapbook. I then let my friends pick out a couple of hats for me to wear at the hospital (and with some cute outfits I'm sure I'll need to get to match.). It was really neat when I was removing the tag from one of the hats and saw that it was made by a church in the town where I teach.  My uncle attends that church...wow, small world. Lovin' the ways God continues to reveal Himself.

   Now a have a duck to put in a row.  Let me explain.  A few weeks ago, in Bible study, I made the comment, "I just want to put all my ducks in a row."  One of my Bible study ladies replied, "Don't you think you should let the One Who made the ducks put them in a row?" Yes, she's well aware of my need to be in control and we all got a chuckle out of that.  So tonight, one of the ladies brought me a duck...so I could put it in a row.  God's blessed me with some pretty amazing friends!
  One more friend story...I have one container of Weight Watchers oatmeal left.  Just as I was thinking about calling a WW buddy about picking up some, she calls me to let me know she's stopping by and wants to know if I need anything.  Again...amazing!

Update:
After waking up with the headache from the dark side, day improved immensely.Early morning visit from teacher friend. Washed my hair for the last time (Just think of all the primping time I'll save!) More platelets. Met two new nurses. (Thought I'd already met them all!) Bible study ladies came and met in my room. Enjoyed calls, texts, cards, and emails. Won a really cute cross bracelet in a Facebook contest. Oh...and tonight was baked cod!!! Had a nice long conversation with my bestest friend. God continues to be my strength, refuge, and unchangeable rock!

The Blessings of Friendship

     People always say, "Let me know if you need anything."  It's alway been hard for me to let anyone know when I need anything.  I like to be in control. As a matter of fact, I've argued a bit with God about this, but He won as usual! I like to be the one that helps; that would be my Martha personality coming out.  In the past week I've been making some requests.
     My dad's health began to fail rapidly and we began to prepare for his homegoing.  I asked my friend JM to put together a photostory of Dad's life and she did.  She said it was an honor.  My friend M  (to whom JM gave copies of the photostory because of the impending blizzard), when I called to see about picking up the cds, said she would take them to the funeral home for me.  M also offered to make an airport run for me and she has another appointment. Cds were at the funeral home.  The photostory is incredible.
     I've been pretty sick the past few days, but I've had several friends to call and check on me.  My friend CL, although dealing with her sister's death, continues to check on me and offers me a much needed time to chat about everything and nothing and gives great advice and direction.  She's there.
     My friend Cat from halfway across the country if flying in...praying to get here and to be able to leave on Wednesday. (We had 21 inches of snow and then 3 and a half more today with more forecast for Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday.) God knew I needed her.  Found a "miracle" ticket.  Originally was finding tickets for just over $500.  Discovered some skymiles she forgot she had and paid $35 for the ticket. (I personally think God used his computer to put the miles on her account.)
     Today, I needed to get to the bank, to the drugstore and to the funeral home so I called and asked my friend T if he could pick me up. He said, "Sure!" (I learned later that he and his bro-in-law that came had not slept after getting off work because they were helping someone dig out of a driveway.) T and W came and took me into town on roads that I'm sure, had I driven, would have caused me to grit my teeth and probably made me cry. They waited on me at the funeral home, in another city, then took me by Subway and home.
     My friend CB texted me to see if I needed anything; she said they'd been out in their jeep.  CB said her hubby lived to drive in this weather.  I'm glad he will enjoy himself tomorrow. I'm getting a ride to the airport and grocery store.  My little car is staying put for now. 
     These are just stories of a few of the incredible people God has put in my life.  I could list countless more.  Every note, card, facebook post and call mean so much.  Definitely blessed beyond measure!
   

Encouraging Words

A week ago Wednesday I received some disheartening news. Dad was taken to the emergency room where it was discovered that  my dad’s adominal cavity was filled with fluid and several metastasized lesions. The doctor said this was a secondary cancer, but didn't know where the primary cancer site was. She said he would not live through treatment. Sis and I will met with with his doctor at the Veteran's Center to discuss comfort care. We know where he's spending eternity: happy for him, and sad for us.

The outpouring of prayers, love and support has been, and it continues to be our mainstay.  The facebook notes, emails, calls and cards are encouraging, comforting and mean a great deal to us.

The following are examples of a few of the many notes my friends and family have sent:

“Just love, love, love...and pray, pray, pray. Then get in the car and cry all the way home if you need to - asking Jesus to give you the strength and comfort YOU need to help your daddy. My momma used to tell me "Don't wrestle - just nestle" - he is our comforter... all the way home if you need to, asking Jesus to give YOU the strength and comfort you need to help your daddy. My momma use to tell me “Don’t wrestle-just nestle” – He is our comforter.”

“Jesus has got this and please know that I am not only praying but I am hugging you in my heart. You are fiercely loved.”

God has blessed Sis and me by putting incredible people in our lives to share our burden and hold our hands!

My Fabulous Friends

     In his book, The Council of Dads, Bruce Feiler talks about what values he wants his girls to learn from his friend, Max.

The loyalty of the friend who sees how far I've come instead of how far I have to go.  The dignity of the person who has devoted his entire life to serving others.  The self-respect of the man who insists on meeting his own standards instead of succumbing to those of others.

     This passage got me to thinking about the incredible friends God put in my life to bring me through some of the most trying times of cancer. There's Sis, who, even though we are related, began and continues to be one of my best friends and biggest supporters.  Cat, who guided me into missions and joined me for many adventures, slept on the floor beneath my hospital bed after my first surgery and made sure the nurses were doing what they were suppose to all night.  Several friends took turns staying with me when I wasn't able to use my arms to care for myself...Cat taught Sis (who hates the sight of blood) to care for the 4 drains that made me feel like a science experiment; Aunt S accompanied me to chemo and stayed with me cooking, cleaning and caring for me when she had challenges of her own to deal with; Em, my precious friend from across the hall and later halfway across the U.S. and back again, stayed a few nights and continues to check in on me; S, who has taken care of my income taxes since I was a senior in high school and joined in on several mission trips, sat with me through chemo and kept me talking and entertained so the nausea didn't have time to get me down; L, who I've taught with for years and watched live out her practical, unwavering faith, accompanied me to chemo, encouraged me, challenged me and cared for me; the senior girls from my small group who visited me in the hospital and made me smile...especially R when she tried the compression sleeves; G, who lived her faith as she accompanied me to chemo, prayed for and with the nurses who cared for her during her own hospital stays, and reminded me that we never cease to exist...some of us step into eternity before others.  R would call me from church on Sunday mornings when I wasn't able to be there, and I would listen to the worship service via phone. There were scores of others who came to visit me in the hospital and at home; some I read about in the journal Sis continued to keep for me so I would know what went on even when the meds put me out. I can't fail to mention the incredible ladies I teach with (Some are my former students!) that have become my second family.  They encouraged me through visits, cards and meals, always reminding me that I was loved.  Sometimes, when I was trying to "be okay" after chemo, my principal would see me in the hall and send me home, but I never worried about my job. She kept an eye on G and me to make sure we didn't overdo it, but never wanted to take our dignity and love of our jobs away.  I've heard it said that if you have one close friend in a lifetime, you should consider yourself blessed.  I consider myself blessed beyond measure!