This study kind of reminds me of some of the times I've wrestled with trying to make sense out of what God is doing. (Who am I kidding? This happens more often than I care to admit!) One particular time comes to mind. When my precious friend G was at the end of her Earthly journey and her sister posted her final blog, I let God know exactly what I thought about Him allowing her to leave the Earth. God, in His infinite wisdom, did not send a lightning bolt to fry me for my total disrespect. Instead, He allowed me to "get it out of my system," cry myself out, grieve, and begin to experience the peace that His word speaks about for those who call Him Father.
I visited G's blog to read her final post and was reminded of my comment:
I'm not going to lie to you, I really want to lay down in the floor and thrown one hissy of a fit. I guess that's why God calls us His "children"...I know that I can act like a child. God doesn't call us to understand, but to trust, believe and obey. (But you know me...I want to understand and I want to be in charge and I want it my way. I actually had a really good idea: You know how teachers donate a day of sick leave? I told God I could convince at least 50 or so people to donate a year of life for you. Well, as you might have guessed, He didn't get back to me on that.) I can not put into words how blessed I am to share this short part of our journey together. Our long talks, adventure in Belize, wig shopping, helping me through that first chemo experience, the theater (sitting through Phantom), and so many other memories will bring smiles, tears and yes, the occasional eye roll. Your friendship and support will never be forgotten...I've got pictures! Your lifeprints are forever on my heart. I love you bunches!!!!
P.S. Please say hi to my mom and little brother (you'll actually get to meet him before me...don't tell him too many stories!)
I really appreciated the following statements from Eugene Peterson in his introduction to Habakkuk in The Message. Peterson is talking about How Habakkuk, in his bafflement and confusion waits and listens.
It is in his waiting and listening-which then turns into his praying-that he found himself inhabiting the large world of God's sovereignty. Only there did he eventually realize that the believing-in-God life, the steady trusting-in-God life, is the full life, the only real life. Habakkuk started out exactly where we start out with our puzzled complaints and God-accusations, but he didn't stay there. He ended up in a world, along with us, where every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.So when I'm just "not getting it" and feel a bit out of control, I'm so glad I have God's word to put things in perspective. I need reminders sometimes. I think that's why I really like this Building 429 song to end this post and encourage myself to look forward to going home.