The Journey Continues...

   Now that I'm entering week eight of this adventure (See Cancer-Round Two! and Joy for the Journey?),I have come made some observations. So here they are not in any particular order...all important:

• I have really awesome family and friends. I'm not the only one who knows this.  Those who cared for me in the hospital mentioned my visitors and how much they enjoyed seeing them. Unfortunately, this is one of the reasons my doc gave for me not attending church. She said that it was obvious I was well loved and if I went to church people would want to hug me; she said I had to be careful and stay healthy.  She did say I could go to Sunday school...don't need to walk through the hall because class is close to door and I wait until the lobby clears after.Glad the church I attend has podcasts!

• I would go stark raving mad if I didn't know God. I mean really, how can people survive day to day with major life stuff going on and still manage to function without the assurance and hope given in a life lived in Christ? I was reminded today of God's perfect timing and how "things" come when needed.  Those are what I call "God"incidences. 

• Even though I see over and over again in my devotions about not going overboard on planning and letting God take care of me....I still find myself wanting to be in charge and plan every detail.  Still working on letting go of my "Martha" personality!
• I so miss my classroom!  I enjoy watching kids learn and discover they like it! I love watching kids do hands-on science and see the moment they "get it!" Apparently I like using a lot of exclamation points, too!
• I miss the people with whom I work! I miss walking down the hall and saying "hello" to my colleagues.  I miss hearing how everyone is doing and what's going on in their lives. (Thankful that Facebook helps with this!)  
• Wigs are itchy and they can shed, too.  It was interesting, the other day I noticed a strand of hair in my sink. For those of you who know me, you know I don't like hair in my sink. I thought it was odd, because I no longer have strands of hair attached to my head. Upon closer examination, I realized it was a strand from my wig. Hey, I guess it's that "true to life" experience of wearing a wig.
• There are a lot of ordinary, everyday, run of the mill things I took for granted. I have to be careful to avoid any injuries or illnesses so I don't use scissors, keep cooking to a minimum, stay out of crowds (even if there is an incredible concert coming up), shop and go out in public at odd times, brush my teeth a lot and gargle in a salt/baking soda mixture to keep bacteria to a minimum to keep sores out of my mouth, carry around disinfecting wipes and napkins to open doors, clean tables, etc., and a score of other things I just never thought about. Do I have to do all of that? Sometimes I think, "I'll skip that," but then remember what my doc said and how much I want to continue on this journey with the least number of side effects. So, yeah, I do have to do all of that...not like it...just do it.

   Okay, those may seem like a lot to have observed during the last several weeks, but I know I'm learning more everyday... more about myself, more about my family and friends (always amazing and encouraging), more about my God, whose love never fails and character is displayed daily.

Arsenic...Really? (and an update)

  From time to time I ponder things I'm not sure others think about.  For instance, I have wondered who sat around and thought, "You know, if I bend a small, thin piece of wire I can use it to hold a few piece of paper together and then I can take them apart easier than if I used a stapler," then the paper clip was invented. In a workshop I attended at one of the NASA facilities, I think the one in Palo Alto, I learned that the water soluble packing peanuts were originally supposed to be a breakfast cereal.  I wonder who said, "Oh well, it's not going to hold up in milk. Let's make it an eco-friendly packing peanut."
   [BUNNY TRAIL...Teacher Moment:  I love the water soluble packing peanuts.  They make a surprising lesson when you ask student to guess how many will fit in a small plastic cup.  Next ask students to guess how many will fit in a small plastic cup with an ounce of water. If you let kids do this in small groups, make sure you have a large quantity of the peanuts...students will be amazed and the discussion will be lively!)]
  Back to the blog post...So today I went to see my oncologist, and she lets me know the next phase of my treatment will involve arsenic.  Arsenic, like in "Arsenic and Old Lace," but without the old lace? Arsenic, like in rat poison?  Umm... apparently so. So I had to wonder who sat around and one day said, "Well, we haven't tried arsenic.  Let's see if that will help cure Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia." I'm glad whoever did it followed through with his/her thought and found how well it works. Did a little reading on the American Cancer Society's website artical "Arsenic Trioxide" and now feel a little better about the whole arsenic scenario. Although some of the side effects don't sound fun, I know that God's got this as much today as He did yesterday and will have tomorrow and in the future! Another part of the medical adventure!!!

Update:
  I've enjoyed being able to get out and about (still during the "not busy" time) the last few days.  It's been unexpected blessings to see friends on my excursions! Made a trip to the doc today because of swelling, which is weird because PICC has been out for 2 weeks. Had to go for an ultrasound, but didn't have to stay so no clot. Since I went to doc today, I don't have to go Friday. Blood test results showed all levels in normal range, but still have to be careful. Will take oral chemo and rest a week before phase 2, which I'm told will involve arsenic (See commentary above.) Very thankful because this means two more weeks at home. God continues to be faithful and continues to renew my spirit!
 

Want to Make Your Head Explode?

...Just try thinking about eternity for a while.  From time to time the subject has come up in Bible study and we've always agreed: Wow...it's hard for us to wrap our minds around the concept of eternity. The last few days eternity and God's reality (what's going on in the spiritual realm, not the world as we know it) has come up. Thinking that means it needs to be in a post.
   You know I really like imagery. (It's the English teacher in me!) In a devotion from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young when talking about Jesus being my best friend, it said:

The friendship I offer you is practical and down-to-earth, yet it is saturated with heavenly Glory.  Living in My Presence means living in two realms simultaneously:  the visible world and unseen, eternal reality.  I have equipped you to stay conscious of Me while walking along dusty, earthbound paths.

   At one time I understood eternity as something that was in the future; it was the time at the end of my earthly stay. In the past several years, as I've been more intentional about Bible study and my TAG (Time Alone with God), I've come to understand....now you might want to hold the top of your head to keep it from popping off...that eternity is also happening now. Wow, this is confusing when you think of it. 
   I guess the biggest breakthrough in my understanding of eternity was when my precious friend G stepped from this life into eternity. I was not happy with God and I told Him about it and how I thought He should have handled things.  After some yelling, crying, pouting, and generally being mad at God, He helped me understand what her stepping into eternity meant.  G has not ceased to exist.  She is in eternity with Him in Heaven and I won't get to hang out with her until I step into eternity.  I now see eternity as a place with my destination as Heaven, not a time in the future. Right now I'm "walking along dusty, earthbound paths."
   The "living in two realms simultaneously" thing is really mind blowing when you think about it. Sometimes we look at life...job, money, house, car, things and more things, people, places...and we let it overwhelm us trying to manage everything. Until we slow down and realize "our reality" isn't "God's reality." In His reality the things unseen, the things of eternal importance are what count.  It's hard to explain sometimes, but here's the way I see it.  There are some ways I can affect eternity...anytime I do what God wants me to do, like share His Word, be compassionate, be giving, etc. There are some things I look at and think, "Will this effect my standing in eternity (Will this determine if I get into Heaven?)" Cancer was one of these things.  Since the answer to that question is "no," I don't think it's that big of a deal on this "dusty path."  I know God's taking care of it because His character never changes.
   I attended a small group last night. I'm really hoping that my treatment schedule will allow me to hang out with these incredible people this semester.  We're studying how to study the Bible. Yes, I've been studying the Bible for a while, but I can always learn something else about how to study. As one of the members commented ...the Bible is a living book and we can get something different every time we read it.  We took a verse and worked through some questions.  One of the questions was picking out the verbs and identifying their tenses. I have to confess, the English teacher in me liked that! The verbs were all present tense, but then some had "is" before a past tense. Discussion led us to the fact that the verse (Psalm 93:1) addressed God's soverienty forever...past, present, and future.  One of the members who teaches Bible class at a Christian school shared that her class had been discussing how scripture was canonized and one of the criteria was that it had to speak to all generations. Wow...there's that eternity thing again!
   Icing on the cake: Today's Bible verse from my favorite radio station was Hebrews 13:8 (NLT)-"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."
    So you do need to think about eternity, but not until your head explodes.  Better to think on  what the bottom line really is...to know Jesus and make Him known.