Remember Not to Forget

   I've been forgetting a lot lately. I will be talking and in the middle of a sentence totally lose the word I want to use. I usually am able to describe the word I want and my friends are becoming good at playing guessing games. It's really frustrating because I know I'm doing it; I am thankful it isn't permanent. It's a lovely irritation known as "chemo brain." Some of my friends have been exhibiting some of the symptoms...I'm thinking they are having "sympathy chemo brain." (Wow, that could be a study!)
  I had to smile this week when I saw the title of one of my devotions, "Don't Forget." I thought, "That's easier said than done." The scripture for the passage was Numbers 9:1-23, where God gives instruction on how to celebrate Passover to remember all God orchestrated to bring the children of Israel out of bondage in Egypt and into the Promised Land. This act of celebrating Passover served to "jog" their memory...help them to remember not to forget.
   "As humans, we are forgetful people, and as forgetful people we need tangible reminders- symbols- of who God is and what He's done." (Eugene Peterson, The Message//Remix: Solo An Uncommon Devotional) Yes, I resemble that remark. The devotion goes on to suggest you create symbol to remind you of God's faithfulness.
   I got to thinking, I already employ that method. I haven't really "made" symbols, but have picked them up or received them as gifts. Not only do I use these symbols to remind me of God's faithfulness, but to remember specific prayer requests. Here are some of my "symbols" and their meanings:

• Hope Trinity Cross necklace (3 parts that form 1 cross)-the certainty of God's promises
• Star of David with a cross in the center-God's covenants and the fulness of the New Covenant completed in Christ
• Silver Survivor Ribbon- God's faithfulness as I survived breast cancer and will survive leukemia 
• Puzzle piece (from camp)- I am a piece of God's grand design; I have a purpose.
• Rock from the shore of the Baltic Sea- Pray for Estonia: Camp Gideon and The Lighthouse
• A rock from Mable Ha Creek, Belize- Pray for the pastors, churches, Sunday schools and  people of Belize
•  A piece of barbed wire- Pray for my brothers and sisters of the suffering church

   Okay, I didn't realize I used so many memory aids. I'm glad I do remember all these things and more,  because each of these memories are an important part of who I am and  am becoming.
   What are some of the symbols you use to remind you of God's faithfulness and provision?
   

  

Chemo Brain

   When I started this go-round of treatment my oncologist said I might have some problems with memory and possible say some things that might not make sense.  My sis and I laughed and wondered how we would be able to tell what was chemo related and what was my normal self or what was simply me getting older. Okay...I think I can tell.
   It's normal for me to walk into a room and forget why I went there to start with.  It's always been difficult for me to remember the names of three classes of students so I have to work hard to put names with faces.  In my girls small group at church I took pics of the twelve girls holding cards with their names. I've always felt it was important to know names. Sometimes I put things in a safe place and then forget the location of the safe place.
   Now, I find I'll be talking and put a word in a sentence that totally doesn't fit in the sentence.  The word may start with the same sound and possibly end with the sound of the word I want to use, but it is not the right word.  Sometimes I loose the word completely.  [Last time my sis would grin and say, "We're playing the guessing game, aren't we?"]
    Most times I can describe the word I want to use. This afternoon in Bible study I was talking about a memory when I was younger (Yay...I could remember!) and I couldn't remember a word I wanted to use, but could describe it. "It's two wooden sticks with ice stuff on them." Both ladies in my study guessed correctly: a popsicle.
   I made a phone call the other day and couldn't remember why I called. The secretary was very sweet and waited patiently.  I remember why I called, but couldn't remember the name of the person (who I've known for several years) I wanted to talk to.  I was able to describe the person and the secretary knew exactly who I meant. Bless her heart for being so understanding!
  I love my family and friends who are helping me deal with some of the craziness that goes along with the chemo.  I thank God for the people He's placed in my life to help me on this journey!