A Few Life Lessons

   Tomorrow is the birthday of Theodor Seuss Geisel, known by most as Dr. Seuss. Generations of kids learned to read, rhyme, and remember verse using his books. It's interesting, as I've grown older and reread some of his work, passages of scripture come to mind. Dr. Seuss taught us many life lessons; I'd like to share a few I've learned.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go. (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)

    Oh, the Places You'll Go! is probably my favorite Dr. Seuss book. Several of the graduating seniors I've known have received copies with Bible verses included on almost every page from me. The above quote reminds me of  Proverbs 16:9 and Deuteronomy 30:19. We always make so many plans, but God has the ultimate say in them. It's so much better when we see where He is working and join Him. He always gives us the answer: Choose life!

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! (Happy Birthday to You!)

   This quote reminds me of the importance of being who God created you to be.  The verses it brings to mind are Psalm 139:13 and  Jeremiah 29:11. From a very young age I knew I was suppose to be a teacher. As I grew up I was discouraged and told by well meaning teachers that I needed to use my brains and be a doctor or something besides "just a teacher." (Really? You want people without brains teaching?) I seriously thought about changing my major, but God (during a spiritually and emotionally draining experience) reminded me He had created me for a purpose an with Him by my side I would succeed. Teaching for 28 years, I have seen God's guidance and provision many times. Now that I'm retired, God still confirms that my future is in His hands. 

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

      There's been some dispute on if the above quote can be attributed to Dr. Seuss. Regardless, it's a good quote. It makes me think of Romans 12. The Message version says it beautifully:

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

    I've learned that my identity is found in Christ. It's not something for Sunday mornings and Bible studies. My everyday, ordinary life is my identity. Who I am is who I am everywhere all the time. I try to recognize what God wants from me and not become well adjusted to my culture. I say what I feel with love and work at mercy, grace, and forgiveness. I thank God for the precious people He puts on this journey with me; they help and encourage me along the way.
    These are only a few of the Life Lessons I've learned. If you haven't read a Dr. Seuss book lately, pick one up and see if you don't lean something. If you haven't picked up your Bible in a while, you might want to give it a try, too. 

Finding My New Normal

   The first month and a half of this new year has been kind of weird for me. I was officially retired on January 1st after working for twenty-eight years in the public school system. While parent/teacher conferences were being held during the last few weeks, I stayed home and read or had dinner with my nephews. While my friends made lesson plans and tried to prepare their students to be the best they can be, I prayed, went to chemo, put up new curtains, read, shopped, took lots of medication and hung out with friends. In one more week I'll be starting the maintenance phase of my treatment for leukemia which involves cycling through oral chemo for two years. I'm really trying to find my "new normal."
   After being diagnosed and landing in the hospital for four weeks, I understood that I needed to concentrate on getting well. At the time I thought that meant treatment and being well enough to start back to school and working for Weight Watchers in January. I misunderstood.
    I feel like I'm in a type of uncontrollable movement forward, instead of a normal acceleration.This is not a good feeling for a planner who likes to be in control. But really, what is normal? My "use to be normal" can kind of be summed up in a quote from Ellen Goodman- "Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it." Looking back on that, I'm not so sure I needed to be happy about that kind of normal.
   In the past few days' devotions from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young have been very encouraging and have really addressed some of my feelings. Hear are some of the most meaningful passages from the past couple of weeks:

Accept yourself and your circumstances just as they are, remembering that I am sovereign over everything.  Do not wear yourself out with analyzing and planning...let thankfulness and trust be your guides through the day...You will never run out of things to worry about, but you can choose to trust Me no matter what...Come to Me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone weary.  Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life...My Peace stands out in sharp contrast to your circumstances...Thank me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still.  Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again.  Some of the greatest works in My kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells...

    Wow! I so needed to hear all of that right now. From yesterday's reading in Jesus Calling I needed to hear this wisdom:

Do not fear change, for I am making you a new creation...When you cling to old ways and sameness, you resist My work within you, I want you to embrace all that I am doing in your life, finding your security in Me alone...Don't try to force-fit today into yesterday's mold.

    Here are some of the scriptures I read:  (Just click on the scripture and it will take you to the link)  Psalm 46:1-3,John 14:27, Romans 8:28, Psalm 42 11, Isaiah 30:15, II Corinthians 12:9, Zephaniah 3:17, and Psalm 73:23-26.
   So I still am not sure what normal is exactly. I am sure that God has a purpose and a plan for me. My friend, Pastor Luke, in one of his Facebook posts said, "Don't retire, refire!" I'm going to take his advice. I'm going to see where God is working and join Him in His Kingdom work...whatever that may look like...and whatever I do, do it to the glory of God! (Colossians 3:17) Excited about the journey to my "new normal!"

Sarah's Daughters

   I've been reading a lot lately, more than usual. Some books I read through and think of as kind of a once a week TV show...a way to pass the time. Some books, however, I read and they have a profound effect on me. In spite of the "chemo brain," I remember something and it won't let me go. This happened when I read Jeanette Windle's book Betrayed. It is definitely a thriller. I had a hard time putting it down. Two sisters, one working on behalf non-profits for children and one working for a wildlife rescue, cross paths in Guatemala. It's hard to tell who to trust in the midst of government corruption and past secrets surrounding the sisters' parent's deaths. Windle's experience growing up in the mountains of Columbia to missionary parents has brought realism to the writing. I'm looking forward to reading more of Windle's work and starting her newly released Congo Dawn.
   The part of the book I just couldn't forget was the missionary at the orphanage and her advice to live as "Sarah's daughters." I have been studying the Bible for years, but have never come across this term/idea. (I'm also constantly learning that the more I learn about the Bible, the more I don't know!) With the author's permission (Thanks, Jeanette!), I'm posting an explanation taken from a conversation the missionary has with one of the sisters who is trying to decide what to believe and do:

You see, we keep thinking that if we can just figure out how to manipulate the sistuation, if we can read the future and make the right decisions, we can make things turn out the way we want them.  The problem is, we don't know all the facts, and we can't read the future nor are we called to.   All you and I are called to do in any situation is to be Sarah's dauhters. Do what is right. Do not give way to fear.  If you just do that, believe me, the heavenly Father, your sister loved to sing about will take care of the outcome, just as He did for Sarah. It might not be the outcome we planned, but it'll be the right one.

    The concept of being Sarah's daughters comes from I Peter 3:6. When talking about Sarah, the verse says, " You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."  Remembering to do what is right and not give way to fear is something that needs to become second nature to us all.
    Now if you're like me and have studied some about Sarah, you may be saying, "Hey, wait a minute. Sarah didn't always do what was right." The book addressed that, too. The missionary goes on to say, "It's when we forget- or figure the end justifies the means to get what we want- that we really mess things up." This was also demonstrated by Sarah when she was promised a child by God, but didn't wait for His timing. (See Genesis 16) Sarah's choice to do things on her own continues to affect the world today.
   Yes the book Betrayed is realistic fiction, but it does a great job of portraying how Biblical truth is woven into the fabric of our lives. Conclusion: Even though my mom's name was Shirley, I also want to live as one of Sarah's daughters.

HOPE

     According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope is defined as "to cherish a desire with anticipation; to desire with expectation of obtainment; to expect with confidence" with the archaic definition: trust. (interesting)

     I hear the word “hope” used a lot. I hope you have a happy birthday. I hope I have enough….(fill in the blank), we hope there’s a white Christmas, you just got to have hope and... on and on. 

      Then I hear that Jesus is our hope.  Is it the same kind of hope? Until a recent Bible study, I never thought of the implications of the differences in the word “hope.”

Understand that when the Bible speaks of hope, it does not use the word in the same way we usually do today, meaning a faint glimmer of possibility…When the New Testament speaks of hope, it speaks of a certainty: The hope of eternal life rests upon the One who came to give us eternal life, and we are justified by His grace. This is rock-solid Reality!...If we do  not have a rock-solid hope in the midst of such rapidly shifting, dizzying, sickening changes, we will succumb to despair.   (Ray Stedman, Adventuring Through the Bible)

   Now that got me thinking about how much I say “I hope this” and “I hope that.”  Then, a few days later, my morning devotion was on hope:

     … The hope of heaven is meant to strengthen and encourage you, filling you with wondrous Joy.  Many Christians have misunderstood this word hope, believing that it denotes wishful thinking.  Nothing could be farther from the truth!  … This hope keeps you spiritually alive during dark times of adversity; it brightens your path and heightens your awareness of my Presence.  My desire is that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Sarah Young, Jesus Calling )

     This made me think of the old hymn (yes, I do know a few) The Solid Rock and the words "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness." 

     I think twice now before I use the word "hope."  I no longer "hope" things turn out for the best. Now, regardless of how things turn out, my Hope (built on Jesus) will be with me and see me through.

Great Pep Talk...Everyone Should Read This!

   My friend Rick posts some pretty amazing thoughts on Facebook. Today, he posted an incredible pep talk. It encouraged me and confirmed some of the things I've been "hearing" during my quiet times. Not going to make any comments; just posting what Rick wrote with his permission:

This morning I read that the life expectancy of a US Male is 75.92 years. For a female it is 80.93 years.

If I am going to live my life expectancy, I only have give or take 9,056 more days to live. That's, if I'm average. There are those who live longer & those who bring down the average by leaving us far too soon. I really have no idea if I'll be average. All I do know is that we're all terminal. As a Pastor, I saw people change the way they lived when a doctor gave then a terminal diagnosis. Would you do anything differently, if you were given that diagnosis? Just so you know, YOU'VE received yours. In my faith, short of Jesus Christ returning in my lifetime, I will die.

Time is not a commodity. I can't give you two hours of my life to make yours longer and mine shorter. All we've got is all we've got.

Do what's important.

Be there....when you need to be & for the people you need to be there for.

When you see God face to face, tell Him you have nothing left to give back to Him.You have used every ounce of talent and ability He gave you (my version of a great Erma Bombeck quote).

Quit talking, griping, and spending energy on crap that doesn't matter. Deep down inside you know you're doing that, so you don't have to face the stuff that does matter.

The stuff that does matter are the people in your life. Those who gave birth to you. Those you fathered or mothered. The grandchildren who made you truly understand unconditional love. And, those along your journey who have changed you, made you better, & loved you.

There will people along the way who believe you owe them, try to control you, & otherwise try to make you feel bad about who you are and what you are doing. They, too, deserve to be loved. But, you cannot allow them to control your destiny. That is between you and God. Those are the people put into your path designed to blow up that God-ordained mission with self-doubt. If HE believes in you, should anyone else's opinion de-rail you?

When you veer off the path because of poor choices, acknowledge them. Admit them. Change them. And work as hard as possible to not make them again. But, don't be upset if others don't forget them. That was their experience with you. That is who you are to them, because that is what you showed them.

The stuff that matters includes your God-planned Destiny. The responsibility to live out the difference you are designed to make. You must assess if you're on the right path & will be able to leave this earth with nothing more inside of you to give. The answer to that question for all of us should in all reality be, "I've got plenty of talent & ability that I've wasted." Because we all do.

You & I just need to ask God to direct our paths, anointing our words, and give us the strength & faith to follow His leading.

I will stop for now. I've spent 17 minutes of my 9,056 days on this post. I will also not try to read anything else today.:)

 

Chemo Brain

   When I started this go-round of treatment my oncologist said I might have some problems with memory and possible say some things that might not make sense.  My sis and I laughed and wondered how we would be able to tell what was chemo related and what was my normal self or what was simply me getting older. Okay...I think I can tell.
   It's normal for me to walk into a room and forget why I went there to start with.  It's always been difficult for me to remember the names of three classes of students so I have to work hard to put names with faces.  In my girls small group at church I took pics of the twelve girls holding cards with their names. I've always felt it was important to know names. Sometimes I put things in a safe place and then forget the location of the safe place.
   Now, I find I'll be talking and put a word in a sentence that totally doesn't fit in the sentence.  The word may start with the same sound and possibly end with the sound of the word I want to use, but it is not the right word.  Sometimes I loose the word completely.  [Last time my sis would grin and say, "We're playing the guessing game, aren't we?"]
    Most times I can describe the word I want to use. This afternoon in Bible study I was talking about a memory when I was younger (Yay...I could remember!) and I couldn't remember a word I wanted to use, but could describe it. "It's two wooden sticks with ice stuff on them." Both ladies in my study guessed correctly: a popsicle.
   I made a phone call the other day and couldn't remember why I called. The secretary was very sweet and waited patiently.  I remember why I called, but couldn't remember the name of the person (who I've known for several years) I wanted to talk to.  I was able to describe the person and the secretary knew exactly who I meant. Bless her heart for being so understanding!
  I love my family and friends who are helping me deal with some of the craziness that goes along with the chemo.  I thank God for the people He's placed in my life to help me on this journey!

Hide and Go Seek?...(and an update)

  Aren't you glad Jesus doesn't play Hide and Go Seek?  Today's devotion from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:

Seek Me with your whole being.  I desire to be found by you, and I orchestrate the events of your life with that purpose in mind.  When things go well and you are blessed you can feel Me smiling on you.  When you encounter rough patches along your life-journey, trust that My Light is still shining upon you.  My reasons for allowing these adversities may be shrouded in mystery, but My continual Presence with you is an absolute promise.  Seek Me in good times: seek Me in hard times.  You will find Me watching over you all the time.

   Love the Message version of one of today's scriptures, Hebrews 10:23- " Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word."
    Also from the Message version: Deuteronomy 4:29-31(Verse 29 was in the devotion; I added the others because they spoke to me as well.): "But even there, if you seek God, your God, you'll be able to find him if you're serious, looking for him with your whole heart and soul. When troubles come and all these awful things happen to you, in future days you will come back to God, your God, and listen obediently to what he says. God, your God, is above all a compassionate God. In the end he will not abandon you, he won't bring you to ruin, he won't forget the covenant with your ancestors which he swore to them."
   What a great reassurance! It comforts me to know that God is with me during adversity.  What I realize, though, is that I tend to seek God more during the rough patches than I do during the "everything is going okay" times.  (This may have to do with the "I want to be in control and can take care of myself" attitude I tend to have from time to time.)  Oh, I study the Word...love to learn and see what God is going to teach me. But, I'm wondering if I'm earnestly seeking God. Am I seeking with my whole being...body, soul, spirit? This has gotten me thinking about when, where, and how I have my devotion and prepare for my Bible study.  It's gotten me thinking about opportunities I will have during my recovery time to do more seeking.
   I know that nothing can touch me until it is filtered through God's love first. With that in mind, I can see that during this time I need to learn to seek Jesus more with my whole being. I need to listen obediently. I praise God for the opportunity to seek Him more!

Update:

   A very good day! Got up early to follow doc's instructions to avoid crowds. Replenished my supply of Weight Watchers oatmeal and got a few other goodies.  Blessed to see some wonderful ladies at WW. Home to rest for a while.  The nephews came over and cleaned for me, then we watched a movie together.  Sis picked up a few groceries. Unexpected blessing from a dear friend. Blood pressure continues to be great. Tired, but happy. God's amazing power and faithfulness continues to overwhelm me!

(EN)trust and JOY! JOY! JOY!...(and an update)

  Today's devotion from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young , p. 246, was more about trust.  It was actually entrusting...your loved ones to God.

Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands...When you release loved ones to Me, you are free to cling to My hand.  As you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them.  My Presence will go with them where ever they go, and I will give them rest.  This same Presence stays with you as you relax and place your trust in me.Watch to see what I will do.

  After reading this, I wondered why I found it easier to trust God with myself than with my family and friends. I think it all goes back to my control issues and Martha personality.  I want to take care of my family and friends.  I want to make sure they have what they need.  I want to make sure they're safe.  I'll pray for them, then I want to try to do God's job. Yes, noticed the frequent use of the word "I."  So what I'm thinking is that when I pray for my family and friends, I should trust God with my treasures knowing He cares for them a gazillion times more than me. His presence is enough for us all.
   Joy continues to keep popping up, so I thought I'd share some of the "joyisms" from the last couple of days:

• Verse of the day from my favorite radio: Psalm 146:5 "But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God."
• Posted on Joyce Meyer Ministries today:  "When we give God our worry, He gives us His peace. When we give Him our cares and concerns, He gives us His protection, stability and joy."
• From my journal: "When we are filled with Jesus, then life is filled with joy."
• "You have made know to me the paths of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence." Acts 2:28 NIV
• "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross." Hebrews 12:2 NIV
• And one of the funnest (Ignore the grammar, please!) versions of "Joyful, Joyful" can be found in the movie "Sister Act."

 

Update:

    Another good day.  Night headache, but got to sleep later.  Visit from school friend...miss being there! Napped on and off. Took a bird bath and changed clothes. (Isn't it amazing how the simple things turn in to such big deals that we look forward to?) Starting to be taken off meds one at a time.  Told I could blow my nose as hard as I wanted...platelets were good! Visit with a special lady; enjoyed ice cream and snacks. Now have a very cool game to work on and share. Unplanned nap in middle of Facebook post; this is why things are a little later tonight.  Enjoyed calls, texts, and emails. God continues to reveal Himself as the Ever Faithful and Peaceful One.

Healing...(and an update)

   Wasn't a able to do my devotion first thing as usual.  Battled the headache from the dark side most of the night. When headache finally subsided, opened Jesus Calling by Sarah Young and found this:

I am a God Who heals.  I heal broken bodies, broken minds, broken hearts, broken lives, and broken relationships.  My very Presence has immense healing powers. You cannot live close to Me without experiencing some degree of healing...The healing may be instantaneous, or it may be a process.  That is up to me.  Your part is to trust Me fully and to thank Me for the restoration that has begun...

   This reminded me that physical healing is only one kind of healing.  So many minds, hearts, lives, and relationships also need God's healing touch. All of these types of healing may be instantaneous or involve a process...our part is trust.  Trust that God's got this.  Trust that God's going to work it out for our good (Romans 8:28) and wants us to prosper and not come to harm.  Trust that God wants us to have a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11). Trust God's character.
   According to Webster, trust is "an assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something." That Someone is our Creator, Sustainer, Deliverer, Hope, Refuge, Peace, Strong Tower...fill in your favorite attribute of God.  
   So do I need to know the how, when, where, what, where of my healing...no.  As much as I want to know, I don't need to know.  I just need to trust.
   
Update:
    Neat thing I learned today: It's easier to get my IV pole over cords if I pop a wheelie!Today was another good day. No bone marrow biopsy today...MRI was scheduled instead. Napped on and off because of another night of little sleep (pesky headache...prayer request: no headache tonight, please.). MRI was postponed until in the morning. Just had one unit of blood and will be getting the next. (Late because of MRI wait.) Fun visit from college roomie! Visit from sis and nephew. Blessed by calls, texts, cards, and emails. God continues to be faithful!God's grace is sufficient; He is my peace and rest!

(VERY) Early Morning Chat

   For the past several nights I've been cared for by the same Nurse's Assistant.  She comes in and out to check on me and take vitals.  When I have visitors, I introduce her to them and tell her who they are.  Sometimes, during the night, when I'm awake...we chat a bit.

   I know I've said it before, but I'm going to reiterate...I am being well cared for.  The staff here is wonderful.  I've been blessed by so many and have opportunities to share my life with them.  This post is just one example.
   This morning, before the sun and chickens were up, she was getting my vitals.  She made the comment that I had several nice visitors and there were so many different ones.  As she was getting ready to leave, we chatted a bit more then she said, "How do you have time to have so many friends?  You're in a classroom all day." Yep, heard the door open, so I shared with her something that took me several years to learn.
   When I first started teaching, I didn't realize how important it was to take time for myself and actually have a life.  I would stay at school until nine or ten at night, go home, fall into bed, and start all over again.  Sometimes I would get home to a message from my student teaching mentor (who taught at the same school) that said, "Hey, just checking on you.  You'd better be at home and not at school." Yes, this was close to 30 years ago!  I had to realize that my job was not my life.  I knew it was a calling, but if I didn't take care of me better, I couldn't do my job.  I shared that I had to put limits on the time I spent working.
   (Okay, some of my friends might says, "She puts limits?" Yes...I'm much better. Still growing in that area and go through different growth spurts. I've learned to use a really cool word that needs no explanation when someone asks.  It's "no.")
    I shared how it became important to me to be involved with things apart from my job...like volunteering in my church and in missions. I shared how sometimes I just need to have a little "me" time and get away for a while just to do nothing. We talked about the importance of family.  I told her how much I enjoyed getting to know, not only the people I work with, but the ones I come in contact with wherever I go.  She said she liked visiting with the people she helped.  I encouraged her by telling her what a great ministry she has here.  Her kind words, caring attitude, and sweet smile have blessed me on many occasions.  Will be watching for more opportunities to share!
   So in summary...I think that what I've learned over the past several years is

• I can't "make" time, I have to "take" time for what's important.
• God made everything perfect...including the whole day and night thing.  I'm the one that over does it and needs to pay better attention how He wants me to use His gift of life.

Love this Calvin & Hobbs!